We just started this blog – I definitely didn’t want my first two posts to be straight complaints. My intentions of this blog were to always write what I’m feeling, happy, sad, frustrated, miserable, excited, elated… whatever word you wanna throw in there from thesaurus.com.
On Saturday, we had a little issue with Chech’s seemingly unending cold. Turns out it’s not a cold that’s making her miserable – she has Asthma. I knew this day would come – her dad has always had Asthma, so does his dad and Grandma… but to hear the doctor utter the words “Your daughter has Asthma” and “We need to give her a breathing treatment right away”, created this abyss of a pit in my stomach. Cue the waterworks as I hold down my baby girl like and force a mask on her tiny little face to breath in this medicinal mist to open up her lungs. Not only was she crying, but I was too. We left Urgent Care with the whole kit and kaboodle – oral steroid, breathing treatments for every 4 hours and instructions to make sure my daughter drinks as much as possible.
Needless to say, the last few days have been exhausting beyond words. Dehydration, Coughing, Sore Throat, Wheezing, Whistling, Sleep Fighting, Jitters as a result of the meds – everyone keeps telling me it could be so much worse, so I just keep repeating this to myself. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and – you get the point.
So this morning when there was no hope putting Alexandria back to sleep, it was time to start the morning routine of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse & Toys while mommy checks her e-mail. Eyes bloodshot from 4 hours of sleep, I focused on the first thing that popped up on my newsfeed. A video posted on a friends wall, thumbnail of a baby in a bathtub, titled “You’re doing okay, Mom”.
Those 4 little words started monsoon style tears. Even if it was just a computer screen & cleverly fashioned marketing tactics by Johnson & Johnson. It worked. It got me. I pressed play. I sobbed.
All I keep telling myself is I’ll make it. It’ll all be over eventually. She’ll either get used to the treatments or get better. It won’t always be this hard. She’s teething, too, so her mouth hurts. Her stomach is sore from coughing for two weeks. She doesn’t feel good, you’re making her feel better. She will be okay. It could be worse. I’ll make it. It’ll be okay. I’LL BE ALRIGHT. After 72 hours of that mental exercise, listening to a commercial telling me I’m doing okay was the reassurance I needed.
Things are going to happen, she’s going to be sick again. She may even get hurt throughout her life, but at the end of the day if she thinks I’m doing okay that’s all that matters. One day, when she’s capable of telling me Thank You and can tell me in her still unknown little voice “I feel better”, all of this will be worth it.
Realizing how she’s worth it, I’m doing my best, and I’m doing okay. That is my Kairos.
So, Thanks for the encouragement… Wanted to share with our readers. Bookmark it, Add it to your favorites, Re-Post or just e-mail it to someone that might need a little encouragement. 🙂