As parents we do some pretty disgusting stuff. Bodily fluids no longer concern us – at this point a brown smear on your arm has an equal chance of being poop as it does dirt. It’s science. And, given said risk – any wet spot on a seat, pair of pants, a chair or floor must be investigated to determine it’s origin as if we were leading a CSI investigation. It’s like the “Holy CRAP that could be disgusting” thought process is eliminated from your brain once you have a child and sticking your hand into something questionable just happens without hesitation.
If you’re still reading it’s probably for one of two reasons: 1) You’re a parent and you get it or 2) You’re some kind of medical professional who’s also desensitized by bodily fluids. If you’re neither of those two – I appreciate your willingness to get through that paragraph, but you are not out of the clear yet: Poop is messy and disgusting.
You see, as the parent of a diaper-wearing tot, you will change
lots what will seem like an infinity of diapers, in an array of different colors, shapes & sizes. Think: Life is like a box of chocolates… left in a hot car in the middle of the Miami Summer. Still lost? Here’s a little diagram that could help.
And you know what? It even gets to the point where you don’t MIND changing the little poop monsters diaper because this immense love and sense of protection you have for her makes it progressively easier as time goes on. It normally happens right about the time where getting out of the house for a few hours is less packing for a 6-month trip to Europe and more weekend road trip to visit friends in Orlando.
This is when life REALLY gets interesting. That cute floral patterned changing pad you have will no longer contain your sweet little cherub nicely on that dirty changing table. No No my friend. Your child has now DOUBLED in size, and you’re forced with deciding if her head, or butt goes on the changing pad… choose wisely. Instead of chewing on that toy you so thoughtfully packed in the baby bag, there will be NOTHING more enticing to play with than the disease infested clip strap attached to said changing table. And – no matter how hard you try to keep her curious wandering fingers from exploring the changing table crevices, she will find some way to touch every millimeter of that forbidden space, causing you to contemplate if dipping her hands in bleach is actually really THAT bad. And what happens when the place you are eating/staying/visiting/shopping has NO changing table? Ha! Well let’s just say I’ve become a pro at backseat diaper changes.
And then you approach two years old, and every other mother you know tells you how their “child was potty trained by Two” and much like the “When’s the next one” question, the Potty Training issue is brought up during every conversation with someone you haven’t seen in a few months.
So, we started. Mostly because we are lucky enough to have my mom who’s been having PeePee dances and potty parties on the reg with Alexandria. WARNING: Please understand that once you have a child who has begun the potty training process, your “Poop:Dirt on your arm” risk automatically doubles and you basically assume everything wet is something that belongs in a toilet. While the accomplishments are stacking up – we still have a little ways to go.
But we’re consistently trying – and making an effort to get her to WANT to do it herself!
So – this is where I
scream ask for help. How did you do it?! What happens when you’re in a public place and they have to “sit” on a Potty?! I’m not sure I’m okay with just putting paper down – but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do?! I’ll be updating Alexandria’s potty training adventures regularly, a portion of this blog I’m sure she’ll be thrilled with when she’s 16 and reading this, and would LOVE any pointers or tips any of my friends have!