So it’s 11pm. Milena’s long stretch of sleep is 8:30pm to about 1:30am…
I’m so going to regret staying up to write this – it’s not even funny. But it is what it is I guess. I’m feeling inspired tonight – by so many things in my life.
I’m inspired by my amazing hubs – when I tell you there’s no one more dedicated to providing for his family, I mean it. He inspires me to persevere and keep on keepin on – especially during 3am sleep deprived nursing sessions. When someone believes in you, it makes you believe in yourself 100 times over – it’s just plain motivating.
I’m inspired by light. Lately, I’ve been more aware of light in our house and how it falls beautifully through the windows at certain times. Something about the light makes me want to freeze time. The way the light hits Alexandria’s face when she’s sweetly asking for attention melts my heart. Her smile looks most beautiful when washed in morning sunlight. The way the light cascades through her windows makes me feel like the sun came up just for us – and it makes me happy. In the morning when I’m up at dawn, I’m inspired by the colors peeking through the clouds, kissing the leaves on the mango trees in our yard. Every morning when I take Jack out I always stop for a few seconds to stare east, looking for the pink and gold strokes painted across the sky. It’s a beautiful thing, light. Especially when you can see it at the end of the tunnel.
I’m inspired by this little baby Milé that has basically been attached to my body 24/7 for the last 6 weeks. Knowing that this time will fly and I will miss her little face, hands, toes and belly inspire me to take a deep breath and soak in every single minute detail of our moments together. Soon I’ll be back to shooting & client meetings and our moments will be fewer – and she will grow bigger every day and I’ll miss pieces of it. She inspires me to notice things I might’ve missed. .
Some days I don’t know how I’m gonna make it and lose my composure in a few quiet tears. Most days I’m lucky if I get to shower. There may or may not be a mountain of laundry to be folded on my kitchen table. All of my 6 week old’s laundry is in her crib, waiting to be folded. I’m pretty sure I forgot to take off my makeup and there’s probably dog slobber on the pants I’m wearing to bed right now. But every day, every single day, I have to look on the bright side. And that’s just what I’m gonna do.
P.S. I bet you $5 The Killers are stuck in your head right now…