Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

I’m working in the evening now at a local restaurant to earn some extra money… Most of you know I’m a small business owner (www.amarticus.com) – I’m trying so hard to build my media & photography business – but sometimes the clients just aren’t there. So, I now have a family to take care of so a mommy’s gotta do what a mommy’s got to do.

The last 7 days have consisted of me running around a restaurant in a silly chef’s coat & non-slip shoes… shifts starting at 2:30pm, were ending at 12. yes 12. midnight. Have I mentioned yet that Alexandria wakes up at 6:30am? Needless to say – I’ve missed the heck out of this little girl. Every day I drop her off at her Abuela’s house and I don’t see her until 6:30am. I’ve missed out on so many goodnights, kisses, cuddles, head rubs and most importantly, I’ve missed out on 7 renditions of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Don’t ask me why, or how this has happened – but turns out the quickest way to put her to sleep is to sing to her. And last night, she stayed up JUST long enough for mommy to get home.

Drowsy and exhausted from playing with her boyfriend all night while their daddy’s watched the Heat Game, I hopped out of the shower to a perfectly sleepy chechalicious face.

I scooped her up, and carefully got into bed to snuggle. “Twinkle, Twinkle little star”, I began, “how I wonder what you aaaare”. Alexandria rolls on to her side and stares at my face. “Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky”. Eyes close. “Twinkle Twinkle, little star” she grabs onto my finger. “How I wonder what you are.” lights out.

IT WAS THAT EASY.

That 30 second song was my Kairos of the last 7 days. I’ve worked so hard, at home dealin with family drama, in both my business and at the restaurant, trying to figure out what my new schedule is going to be. How my new life is going to fall in to place. All of that felt hundreds of miles away as I laid next to my baby girl and just listened to her breathe her squeaky little breath.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. <3

Freeze!!

Alexandria is growing up. 

I want it to freeze!

She’s got such a personality. Peek-a-boo is her favorite game on the planet. All those bows I put in her hair – good luck leaving them there now for longer than 5 minutes. She’s grown to hate her trademark style – but too bad!

Her hair is finally growing in, an adorably shimmery strawberry blonde that I swear gets more red every day. Still no teeth. We have nubs, and white spots, but no official teeth.

She is crawling. She is growing. Just like I begged & prayed to happen. Everyone is constantly telling me to slow down. “Enjoy her now” they all say. “They’re only this little once!”. Oh man thank god they’re only this little once. Since the moment she was born, everything having to do with Alexandria has been intense. From the way she was born (emergency C-Section at 1:17am), to her evenings of screaming (due to GERD), to her dry patches of skin all over her chest (caused by an allergy to milk protein), to cracked, red scaly sores on her cheeks (due to Eczema), to the nightly breathing treatments (Due to asthma – which have stopped as of now – yay!). … intense is a good way to describe the last 8 months, 12 days, 21 hours, and 25 minutes of our lives. All I’ve wanted is for her to outgrow all of these litte baby things!

Now that it’s happening, I’m not sure what I was wishing for. 

 

You’re doing Okay, Mom.

We just started this blog – I definitely didn’t want my first two posts to be straight complaints. My intentions of this blog were to always write what I’m feeling, happy, sad, frustrated, miserable, excited, elated… whatever word you wanna throw in there from thesaurus.com.

On Saturday, we had a little issue with Chech’s seemingly unending cold. Turns out it’s not a cold that’s making her miserable – she has Asthma. I knew this day would come – her dad has always had Asthma, so does his dad and Grandma… but to hear the doctor utter the words “Your daughter has Asthma” and “We need to give her a breathing treatment right away”, created this abyss of a pit in my stomach. Cue the waterworks as I hold down my baby girl like and force a mask on her tiny little face to breath in this medicinal mist to open up her lungs. Not only was she crying, but I was too. We left Urgent Care with the whole kit and kaboodle – oral steroid, breathing treatments for every 4 hours and instructions to make sure my daughter drinks as much as possible.

Needless to say, the last few days have been exhausting beyond words. Dehydration, Coughing, Sore Throat, Wheezing, Whistling, Sleep Fighting, Jitters as a result of the meds – everyone keeps telling me it could be so much worse, so I just keep repeating this to myself. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and – you get the point.

So this morning when there was no hope putting Alexandria back to sleep, it was time to start the morning routine of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse & Toys while mommy checks her e-mail. Eyes bloodshot from 4 hours of sleep, I focused on the first thing that popped up on my newsfeed. A video posted on a friends wall, thumbnail of a baby in a bathtub, titled “You’re doing okay, Mom”.

Those 4 little words started monsoon style tears. Even if it was just a computer screen & cleverly fashioned marketing tactics by Johnson & Johnson. It worked. It got me. I pressed play. I sobbed.

All I keep telling myself is I’ll make it. It’ll all be over eventually. She’ll either get used to the treatments or get better. It won’t always be this hard. She’s teething, too, so her mouth hurts. Her stomach is sore from coughing for two weeks. She doesn’t feel good, you’re making her feel better. She will be okay. It could be worse. I’ll make it. It’ll be okay. I’LL BE ALRIGHT. After 72 hours of that mental exercise, listening to a commercial telling me I’m doing okay was the reassurance I needed.

Things are going to happen, she’s going to be sick again. She may even get hurt throughout her life, but at the end of the day if she thinks I’m doing okay that’s all that matters. One day, when she’s capable of telling me Thank You and can tell me in her still unknown little voice “I feel better”, all of this will be worth it.

Realizing how she’s worth it, I’m doing my best, and I’m doing okay. That is my Kairos. 

So, Thanks for the encouragement… Wanted to share with our readers. Bookmark it, Add it to your favorites, Re-Post or just e-mail it to someone that might need a little encouragement. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

SIDENOTE: She’s crawling!!! We started consistently putting one arm in front of the other a few days ago, and now we don’t stop!! Just wanted to share. 🙂