I realized today how long its been since I’ve posted – I also realized today how quickly time is passing. Time is the most precious thing on this planet – you can’t control it, it fixes a lot of problems and exacerbates others. Time is a fucking crazy concept. ::cue the philosophy rant::
Either way… in reality, this is why I really started this blog in the first place. To capture all of the moments in my life – and in the other Kairos girls’ lives – to look back and remember how we lived and the kinds of mommies we were [are], and vent out all those frustrations and accomplishments.
Today, I come to my blog with frustration.
Being a mommy is a full time job in itself – something I don’t need to explain to any of you. But what I am struggling with is figuring out my place in the “real world”. After leaving my job as a Fundraiser with Florida International University, I embarked on a journey to explore my creativity & started a small media consulting business… I could set my own hours, figure out my schedule as I needed to with Alex and still keep doing what I love – to be creative.
and I’ve enjoyed every second of it.
But the last 9 months haven’t been a walk in the park because, see, when you have a little person THEY become your priority. Not the amazing networking event tomorow, not the potential client’s phone call you haven’t returned, not the e-mail blast to previous clients you’ve been writing – all that is small potatoes. Your priority is your munchkin. Everything that needs to get done for them, gets done first.
To be honest, I’ve not enjoyed every second of this.
See, and if you know me, you know that I look at every scenario in my life as an opportunity. A missed contract = something better coming down the road. A mistake made while working on a client’s project = a lesson learned to make my services better the next time.
There have been some super exciting accomplishments – I’m officially an FIU vendor and photographed my first event for the School of Accounting. I landed a pretty big contract with the Huntington’s Disease Society of America managing two of their fundraising walks in South Florida. I’ve completely redesigned my website. How I’ve found the time for this – who knows.
I just pray that I learn to keep the balance going and accept the things I cannot change. This business is like a second child of mine – it needs to be fed creative projects, nurtured with constant learning and changed when it gets messy and things don’t work – and I’m determined to be just as good a mommy to Amarticus as I am to Alex…
I’m so grateful for the last 9 months of hectic craziness. I’ve launched a semi-successful creative consulting business, we’ve had 4 different homes, celebrated countless milestones in each of them and grown closer as a family. I may not have been the greatest juggler – I’ve definitely been a giant unsuccessful balancing act…
But 9 months spent watching my daughter grow up and become an adorable ball of hilariousness = something a lot of people don’t get the chance to do. THAT IS MY KAIROS.
It comes with time…. I do believe there needs to be a balance. Yes, you have your child(ren) first in life; however, you need to make sure you can provide for them as well. Just like with working out… it is amazing how much weight your body can carry. You’re looking at 175 pounds and thinking to yourself, I can’t do this. Then, you try and it is off the ground! It is like motherhood… you have a shit load to do and on your plate on a constant basis. You look at everything and feel over whelmed thinking it can’t be done. Then, because you’re an amazing mother, it all gets done with time to spare. Any one can have a child…. it takes an amazing woman to be a mother. You are an amazing mother and no matter what life throws your way, you will take it and create something wonderful!
I couldn’t have said it better myself! I totally agree with Frankie. She has more experience than us, being that her oldest is 3 years old. Just know that as a stay at home mom, I am totally with you on this!!! I’m a mom, a wife, but a lot of times it feels like something is missing. For a while, I felt like I had lost my identity. You have to take time out for yourself. If you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to be the best mom or wife. Go get your hair done, get a mani/pedi, a massage, go workout…ALONE. =) You are doing an amazing job so far momma!!! <3