They say that the days are long, but the years are short – and I’m not quite sure there’s a better way to describe 2017. This year, we closed out my Photography business after a bumpy ending, jumped into The Real Estate Shoppe full-time, went on an epic Road Trip, decided to homeschool… pretty much lots of growing and with them, the growing pains.
I was always someone that felt like I could do ANYTHING, and everything. And frankly, it’s really difficult to be 100% honest with yourself when you set such high expectations. The stress and anxiety of maintaining Lovely Bee evolved into health issues that sent me to the hospital multiple times. My “I can do it all” attitude & obsession turned into the exact opposite – a paralyzing fear of my daily responsibilities. The months just flew by in super warp speed – especially with one, sometimes two 10 hour Weddings every, single, weekend. The Real Estate Shoppe was growing exponentially with new agents joining our team each month. Our girls were growing – Kindergarten things happening, Milena was sick every other week from Daycare germs.
I felt like one of those little hamsters spinning on a wheel with all her might and really never getting anywhere.
It was time for a change. I closed my schedule, closed my business, pulled Milena out of school and took a damn break.
BEST. DECISION. I’VE EVER MADE. It was time to live a little.
We finished out the school year and I made a promise to myself that I would never lose control of my health (both physical and mental), ever again. It was time to slow down and smell the roses. But first, I had to find the roses. It was really hard for me to get into a mental space where I was okay with admitting my flaws, where I had to come face to face with my shortcomings as both a Mom and as a Business Owner. Where there is pressure, there is change, and I’m grateful for the chance to learn and grow closer to the person who I actually WANT to be.
Moving on from the negatives, I’m working really hard in 2018 to learn how to be GRATEFUL for the positives.
This year, we made some amazing memories on an EPIC road trip from here, to Rural Connecticut, and back. If I had to pick ONE thing that I am most grateful for in 2017 – it is for this trip. Where the views were all new, the girls were on their best behaviors and we just felt so wonderful being together.
I’m grateful for all of the growth we’ve gotten to experience as a family with our little business. We’ve helped new agents learn the ropes in Real Estate and seasoned agents find their niche. I’ve watched couples find their first homes, young families move into bigger spaces and investors find business opportunities – growing and learning the whole way.
I’m grateful for our decision to homeschool our girls. I’m grateful to the kind women who have made me their friend, welcomed my family with opened arms, and invited me into the world of homeschooling that I knew nothing about. I am grateful for the meaningful friendships Alexandria and Milena have made in 2017. I am grateful to have the opportunity to open their eyes to the world in a way that is special for them.
Most of all, I’m grateful for time. As I write this, sitting here with my Memaw in the Hospital, I am grateful for all the time that I was able to spend with the people that I love. Grateful for the extra time family members gained through the marvels of modern medicine. Grateful for the extra time with them that has been gifted by the universe.
This year, I aim to be more grateful and less resentful. I will stop trying to please everyone who needs something from me – the word No will not be a cuss word. I will not fear the change that comes with watching my children grow up – I will embrace it with open arms. I will let go of the past, and I will let go of the people that I let down in the past. I will work on managing overthinking and anxiety – I will be kinder in the way that I speak to myself. I will passionately embrace my creativity. I will unapologetically accept my quirks.
Alright 2018, let’s do this.